Winter 10-11

After fire--rain, mud, sludge.
The mud rains down in unforgiving mindless mounds, burying stones and Christmas trees.
We must pay for clearing all the oranges and planting houses in their place.
Even those who lived there said, "This is not right."
The oozing tons of earth that invaded the homes and buried cars and boats and dolls and bikes came down because there was nothing to stop it.

No people, only things, some precious, some not were caught in the deluge--but the timing--Christmas makes it that much sadder.

Our hearts go out to those now homeless from an overabundance of mud and water.

Last week--A Horoscope Told Me

I would receive a surprise visit from someone in my past. I think--two sepearate sources said something about the same thing.

This week end, 'someone from my past' notified me they were coming to this continent soon. The very next day, I went to a store 35 miles away and ran into another person from 'my past'.

There have been two occasions in my life when the horoscope information was completely relevant and precisely on the money. I guess this one makes a third.

I don't pay any attention to them--unless several of them agree.

A Spoonful of Sugar

Do you think that your cynicism has any effect on the ability of God and nature to continue to give us grace and beauty?

Do you think that if you deny or ignore the blessings of the seasons or of each day--that they don't really happen?

Stopping to smell the roses is not enough. Close your eyes to the the flotsam that surrounds you. Close your ears to the clatter of discordant bile that poisons your soul.

Take yourself to a solitary place--take the rose with you and inhale its words deeply. Caress its petals and allow its sensory messages stroke your stresses away.

Keep its soft touch on your fingers, its inner-light in your own eyes, take in its breath and speak with only that fragrance on your tongue.

The rest of the world will intervene, interfere, and continue to tear itself apart,
but you don't need to be a part of it or take part in the process.

Hold to the image of the rose. It is rooted. It gives beauty and delight. Only when handled carelessly by ignorant or brutish hands does it defend itself with God-given spikes. Teaching the way to touch...a rose.

It Won't Be Long Now...

Given the distance between the two extremes (name one there are plenty of them)--
The process and struggle to return to balance or continue rushing on to the other end, will begin to show progress.

These patterns are destined to change. Mankind is reaching a stage of maturity that will bring a paradigm shift in behavior. No longer will there be 'lines drawn in the sand'. No longer will the solution come when the loudest, meanest, richest, most unethical enactments be named the 'winner'. This is not to concede to them now.
This is to give hope to those who believe there is no recourse to defeat them.

Discourse, civil, level-headed, and courteous with no motivation to degrade, defame, or spread untrue rumors will return. The voice of reason will arise. That voice will quell the fires of hatred with elements of truth that cannot be denied or disproved.
That voice will speak with confidence, logic, and inspire the listener to turn away from negative, devisive speech and action to seek out and illumine their minds with truth.

Looking for qualities within their coharts and developing their own to become the spiritual being they were put in this world to become, will be the means to improve society.

I pray I get to see these developments before I leave this world.

Time, Patience, Reason, Reflective Listening

Why do people think you can turn a battleship around in a stream over night>?
HUH? What the heck is she talking about?

You can't solve these massive problems of economics, health care, a crumbling educational system quickly--at least not without full cooperation from a majority of a population and or their legislators.

If that population and the legislators are working against any and all attempts to fix or even discover the source of the problems--nothing can or will be done...but the problems will not go away.

Only the understanding that a Government of a country with 400million compatriots
needs TIME to repair any part of a system that is not functioning.

People who are not willing to share--anything--or who have become knee jerk in their opposition to any new ideas or who have narrowed their thinking to following whoever complains the loudest--are part of the problem.

Listening to each other--not the so-called pundits--really listening by repeating to ourself the words that create a knee jerk response--in a small sense they then become our own--giving a bit of credence to those words and offering our opposing view with rational, inside voices.

That's all for now...I'm not feeling well.

Loving God, Believing in Him, Praising Him is not a competition

Love for God and His Words is possible in many languages and every heart is capable of it. He answers to any name and cares for any and all non-beleivers. His creation of this universe and all that is therein- visible and invisible is simply a manifestion of His love for His creation. None would exist without His Creative Word.

This existence came into being when he commanded that existance to "B E".

We need all our cognitive, rational, and extra-sensory endowments to begin to fathom the how and why of it all.

These concepts are open and available to all who have eyes to see - read, understand and know that the love of God to His creation is universal throughout time and is not limited, nor is His Being limited, nor can His Being be contained in any form. Yet, He wishes to be known by His creation. The only place of knowing and the only place He can be known is in the human heart. But, He cannot take His place within it.

The door must be opened by the owner. He must be welcomed to His place by the possessor of the heart. The mystery of this relationship is that He gave us a heart with room for Him, but He CANNOT enter without our permission. He can choose to make Himself known to any of us as He Wills, but we must choose to accept or deny His
offer.

Those of us who deliberately search Him out and confidently believe with all our hearts and souls in His All-Loving embrace, realize that Love is available to all who seek it, need it, request it, and accept it. Many names are given to it--but it is not limited by any name or by any concept placed on it by man's limited understanding.

Spiritiual Starvation

Playing Russian Roulette with my soul is a game I have played all my life. Many times I have lost. Tests have come that I was not prepared for and they swept me away. Instead of becoming stronger as a result of these tests--it was more like--I was put back to square one and had to start all over again, relearning and regaining any progress I had made.

The game is played by being fully aware of spiritual duties that keep one connected and nourished on a daily basis, simply, say a brief obligatory prayer once a day. How hard is that? We rebellious ones or undisciplined ones, don't do it even when we actually rememeber we are supposed to!

Time goes on as the soul languishes, longing for its spiritual nutrients. The lower self withholds this source of love from the spiritual aspect for God knows why..but sooner or later the test comes that could have been beneficial from the start and the malnourished soul lands in St James Infirmary begging for hope and forgiveness.

It is a mystery to me why this ridiculous pattern continues. The solution is so simple, the purpose so clearly stated, the need so vital and yet--every day that the soul is not fed, gives the lower self that much more power over the higher self.

God help us...me
Please!

My Love Reaches Across the Country

We've mused about sitting on a porch
Decades from now
Laughing at all our crazy fun
And when it had all begun.

Funny things happen when we get together
And when one is sad--we both are
Our musing of future reflections
Brings us closer, takes us far

Far from whatever frustration
Is wearing on us
But we never imagined
It would happen just
Like this...

You get to come 'home'
Nearer to me
But, Oh what pain and sorrow
Brought it to be

Your source of aggravation
And joy
Over and over you called him
"My little boy..."

Left your arms, your life,... and his
We grieved and screamed...
Why did it have to happen like this?

Many a time I defended his view
Somehow his words just didn't get through
But I knew that you needed to hear him
And I knew that your place was still near him

A happy time was spent
Just hours before he went away
Im sure he didn't want to leave you
But his body said, "I can't stay"

Now we get to be together
Not as close or as often
As you and he
But for us -- you and me

Any time we can share is enough
We take turns
Being funny -- now its time
To be tough.

I spread my arms across this land
And offer my shoulder, and my hand
The distance to my mind is painful
But my heart finds it easy to span

Come...

Gifted Harbinger

The biography of Ludvig von Beethoven depicts him in many contradictory terms. Various historians, musicologists, musicians masters of an array of instruments, chimed in with their view of the man.

He was generous, kind, empathic, tempermental, controlling, a bully, self-centered...I began to think I was watching Roshosmon.

And yet, he believed in God, gave God credit for the beauty and mysteries of this world and perhaps for his own gift.

After he became totally deaf, God had his full and complete attention. The message Beethoven was to set forth, the fanfare for God's Messenger on this planet and inspired him to write the Ninth.

That peice has everything. It is dark, it has pathos, it has brightness, and of course it has joy. But, if you ever find the original lyrics--study them well. It's all about God's desire for mankind to recognize their oneness.

Fire! Fire! Everywhere...hardly time to think!

The season started early with plenty of fuel on hand.
The rains, the heavy, wet snows we had drenched
The rocks, trees, dirt and sand.

Our very short spring (a blessing in disguise)
Brought forth bouquets of wildflowers- a delight to our eyes

Now the fire-bugs abound
Poor, sick brothers
Born that way
I have found
Undetectable by others

First it was luscious fields, mountainsides of loam
Yesterday--it was an occupied home.

Neighbors came to comfort the residents of the abode
Gathering the friends in their arms to help them cope
All was lost inside that house and out
Lost too -- was hope.

All memories of happy times
All life -- the fish -- the dogs
Were in the house, the yard, where they piled the logs.

Fire out...holy water drained from ragged eaves
Carrying ashes to the soggy ground

The scene burned into the core of those looking on
Their hope completely broken
So they couldn't even remember what it used to be

Then something moved, within the smoke
A form emerged slowly!

More than one memory--he carried thousands with him-
A life! From the rubbley, smouldering ashes

Its Buddy! He's alive!- No burns! No gashes!

The old dog that grew up here
Hobbled out of the destruction
Licked his owners hand
And sat without instruction.

His demeanor at the hubbub
That greeted his appearance
Was true to his character
Of kindliness and patience.

Buddy walked through the amorphous wall of smoke
Bringing joy, relief, and yes...previously expired--
Hope.

The very sight of him lifted hearts and spirits
When the embodiment of hope appeared...
Everyone wanted to be near it.

Fires will continue.
There is no reason to doubt.
Vigilance will increase.
Now, we all who live here are scouts.

Buddy will enjoy his remaining days
Being the source of happy memories
That could have died in the haze
Of smoke and flame
Of guilt and blame

But he brought relief, healing
And praise --
After the painful, destructive
Blaze.

Thank you Buddy!
For just being alive!

Identity Crisis -Who Are We--Really?

Those of us with too much time on our hands, may be tempted to reflect on and inspect every aspect of our being. We can get caught up in the miasma of 'me' and mystified by the myth of self. If we are unbalanced to begin with--such a never-ending search does not help. I venture to add--most of us are less than perfectly balanced beings.

When we see this vortex taking over our thoughts and deeds, it is time to get out and mingle. People watch, bird watch, take a hike, a Sunday drive and find someone who needs company to visit with.

Knowing ourselves is only important when faced with critical decisions. The rest of the time we should let ourselves be. If we take ourselves into account each day for a few mintues before going to sleep, so we can improve our actions, reactions and interactions, that is the best way to know who we are. That way we are laying the foundations and building a structure of 'self' that we are in touch with and guiding the growth of.

Pardon the preaching...I am basically talking to my....self.

How Many Ways to Say One Thing

Words from the heart seem to have only one meaning. Truth penetrates all layers of emotional expression. But getting there--for some of us is nearly impossible. The response to those Truths (if memory serves) is a humbling, overwhelming feeling to fall to one's knees or curl up into a fetal ball.
As I search for ways to express those words and attempt to find them, it occurs that the most powerful ones don't belong to me. They come from an outside source--as a lovely surprise--tapping into the hidden recesses of my heart. The keys that open it and cause trapped feelings of love to gush forth, do what overused words can never accomplish.

Feel Me...

Leave your concerns on the floor in a heap.
Bring me unspoken words for my heart to keep.

Take me into your confidence.
Trust that I will never leave.

Hide your eyes if you are not he...
The One I am asking to

Feel
Me.

Touch Me...

I am waiting.

Hear Me...

The wind that moves through the pines before sunrise pulls my thoughts out of their bony casement and carries them to ocean waves, heard from a distance.

A rooster and a male quail vie for vocal one-up-man-ship.

Whispering, now the wind speaks a message to any who will listen.

"Our mother--the earth--does not patronize us. She still blesses us with bounties and beauty, while she warns us repeatedly that we are making trouble for ourselves.
We are aware enough now to hear and understand these warnings. Yet, like rebellious, selfish, head strong youth that we are, we plunge ahead--careless, and thoughtlessly.

The earth's life-blood may be water, but oil is also. The demonstration she is giving us now will make it clear to even the most uneducated among us--the extent and importance of our interdependency and connectedness of all inhabitants on this planet.

The concluding result will be drawn out in time such that, it will have a name in a plethora of languages.

Mother will make it clear that this problem we created for ourselves will require all our attention, if we are to assure the continued existence of our species. Our attention must be focused on fixing it, preventing it, and all activity pertaining to it be discontinued indefinitely."

The wind is now sounding like a large crowd cheering with one voice.
The male quail sounds more like the rooster and the rooster has faded in agreement.

See Me...

See me standing next to this page with sharp, menacing, cutting tools in my hands. They are symbols of what has shaped my life. Not the compassionate molding that is discretely referred to in ‘life stories’.

When I speak of the beauty of nature with a flourish of color and rose-scented phrases, it is my intention to distract you from the machetes and scabbards which I used to carve those words.

A Precious Thing

Delicate realtionships are just that-delicate. Whether they are between husband and wife who are going through rough times and their continuing future is dicey, or whether between parent and child never allowed to fully bond.
If that delicate china plate is broken, many pieces can be seamlessly repaired, but there will no doubt be bits of various sizes that will never be found or able to be replaced.
Some of the members of these broken relationships will choose to toss the broken, imperfect object away--to the heartbreak of those who wish to keep it regardless of its condition.
Those tossing it away think it can be replaced or life will go on just fine without it--until life brings a situation to their door that calls for something precious from the past--one thing of beauty that connects them to all of history--and they no longer possess it.
Those who hold it, will continually be reminded of the pain that it represents. But, they will have time to come to terms with it and something to show for a life of pain.

A Wedding ~ An Anniversary ~ A Journey

One week after our anniversary we will be going to a wedding. The brides colors are my favorites. The setting will be perfect. We were married outside in a small local park. The couple will be married in the groom's parents backyard. It will seem like a renewal of vows for me. As a Bahai we don't have vows (plural) only the phrase, "We will all verily, abide by the Will of God." Anything else we can choose to have said...or not.

The wedding will take place after we have made a journey to the Grand Canyon. Another renewal. My first trip there was with my husband after we were married. For several years we went there during Thanksgiving -- to avoid the massive summer crowds. Now we are retired and I was hoping for a 'spring' experience, but it seems spring is waiting to show up until around June or July.

This anniversary is our 34th. It will have multiple layers of flavors, colors, sounds and feelings. We each remember different moments about our life together and
those events that we remember in unison have the power to resucitate emotions we would rather stay buried.

Concepts of time, and our personalities are changing at about the same rate now.
Blinding speed. That makes every day or week and adventure, but even though we are changing--it is the person, the life together that we remember. Knowing that we
could not have had the same level of comfort and ease, if not for the person sitting next to us at this moment.

Without their patience, forgiveness, acceptance...love, our life would be a sad, short, lonely story.

A Shout-Out for Civility

Good Morning! How are you today? You look very nice today. How can I help you?
You won't find these phrases on tweets, twits, or pagers. For them to be meaningful you need to be in the presence of those to whom you are speaking...(I never thought I would hear myself use the term 'to whom you are speaking'). In order to smile with your face and voice and convey your sincerety of your questions and comments.

If this makes me an old fogey-so be it-but I fear for a society that spends more time concerned with personal entertainment than in any other activity.

We are encapsulated in cars, trains, cubicals or even working from home. We 'talk' to each other through a machine that cannot convey warmth, intent, or inflextion to enhance meaning and emotion. When confronted with a real live human being, we seem to have discarded any intention of being courteous, sensitive, or open to social intercourse--(verbal interaction that allows for intimate conversations).

There are societies, cultures, that do not rely soley or even a little bit on these unnatural means to communicate. They spend several minutes inquiring about your family, your well-being, your opinion before asking what reason moved you to come to their store, or shop. This would make us very uncomfortable, and we would tend to look at their interest with suspicion. Perhaps damaging their efforts at establishing a friendship and hurting their feelings.

It would be good to practice civility if for no other reason, for our children to see that it is a valuable trait and skill that leads to virtues we can role model for each other on a daily basis.

Courtesy, kindness, friendliness, helpfulness, patience, all serve to improve society as a whole. The wise addage- "When you see someone without a smile-give them yours" works for civlity and courtesy too.

One of the keys that have made our marriage work for 34 years--is this-- We always say "Thank you" and acknowledge our partners effort for whatever it is. For every day tasks and chores, dishes, cleaning, cooking, retrieving something from another room...that makes it easier to remember to say it for the big sacrifices as well.

Ok. I'll get off my soapbox--but--it is disconcerting to see the rudeness so wide spread and unchallenged!

Have you ever been 'the only' one in a room among 'others' who were unlike you?
The choices could be - political, religious, racial, nationality, gender --
Depending on your age and experiences, you were uncomfortable or perhaps not so much.

How do we overcome such differences and feelings of isolation in these circumstances?

Attempt to bridge whatever gap appears to exist. We do that by seeing our commonality. We are all human beings. We all have some degree of wanting to be accepted.

Being the only is no reason to become defensive, offensive, withdrawn or anxious.
It is natural to feel that. If we recognize the reason for the feeling, we can take steps to conquer it.

This is an attempt to convince myself that going to my reunion will be positive thing. That I will relax among those who are at opposite poles of my thinking, and beliefs, that I will not attempt to persuade anyone to my way of thinking--but I will share my thoughts with courage--regardless of the response.